06 October 2010

a different sort of transition

I am packing my birth bag. I am bringing the usual things...my massage tools, essential oils, my rebozo shawl, warm socks, snacks, a fan, the things I use to make myself comfortable when sleeping in a hospital chair and soothing music.

But I am not going to a birth...I am going to say goodbye to my mother and help her have as peaceful and joy-filled a death as possible. It will hopefully be at home, just as many wonderful births are. And like at a birth, I hope to be of support to my dad, her husband and partner of forty-five years, as he and I bear witness to her passing.

I will bring with me the flowers of Hawaii, their favorite place on earth, to wish her on her way.

Wish me strength and grace, that I may be of service and open to whatever needs to happen.

13 comments:

Angela said...

Oh Kim! All strength, peace, and good energy to you as you help your Mom and Dad on this journey. {{{hugs}}} and make sure you have your own support. xo

NavelgazingMidwife said...

Much love. I did the same with my dad two years ago next week. It was a blessing to have him die in the home I grew up in instead of a hospital.

As in birth, many gifts unfold, sometimes not able to be embraced or even recognized until much later.

One thing I did was take tons of photos as well as show him lots of photos of those who loved him throughout his life. Before he got so sick he couldn't participate, I organized a family reunion (for 3 days after I got there... 4 weeks before he was gone) that so, so many loved ones came for. He laughed and laughed and I have so many great pictures of him with people.

Three regrets about that time:

1) I have NO picture... ever in my life... with just me and my dad. I took loads of others with him, but didn't think about one with just me.

2) I have one short, 3 min. video of him. He said about 10 words; that's the only thing I have with his voice.

3) I have very, very little of anything that has his writing. If I could do it again, I would ask him to write "I love you, Barbie. Love, your dad."

Being in birth helps so much with death's rite of passage. But, as in birth, remember to find time for yourself.

Sending you much love.

Jen Maidenberg said...

Kim: I am so moved. Wishing you grace and ease and peace. Love to you during this difficult time.

Emma Magenta Blog said...

wait, now I'm crying...aren't we supposed to be comforting you?

Sarah said...

Oh, Kim. What a difficult transition to anticipate, and then move through. Wishing you all a peaceful journey, and much love. I hope I can be with my mother in the same way when her time comes.

Rita Desnoyers-Garcia said...

It is amazing that you have the privilege to help beings come into the physical and then transition out of the physical. What a beautiful gift for you, your mother, and family. As Jen said, wishing you grace, ease, and peace as you transition through this time.

Laura said...

What beautiful thoughts so well expressed. How loving for your mom to be at home with your dad, her husband, and you. I'm so sorry for this though. May you all have peace throughout.

Holly said...

I don't have words to respond to this properly. Please know, though, that I am thinking of you and wishing you peace.

Lynne said...

Kim, many blessings to you and your whole family. How lucky they are to have you. Namaste.

KeepItReal said...

What a beautiful gift for a Mom who raised a beautiful daughter.
Peace.
stacy

Deborah said...

I'll be waiting for you when you get back with a tissue in one hand and a cupcake in the other. Wishing your mother an easy departure.

sap said...

I am not sure what to say here but your post moved me greatly. What a wonderful daughter you are to give your mom this gift. I wish you and your family peace and strength during this time.

Deb said...

sending you and your family much love and strength during this challenging time and transition.