How The Mother Half Lives: Momma Love

Momma Love: How The Mother Half Lives by photographer Ali Smith looks like a fantastic project and book...and it needs to be pre-ordered so the project can go forward - that's right - YOU have the ability to help make this project happen!  Read about why on Huffington Post.  It's what to get for Mother's Day!

it's getting real up in here

I LOVE this Luvs commercial!

virtual book tour...stay tuned for some book reviews

Technology is amazing...usually when someone asks me to review their book or film, they send a hard copy. Today I opened a link and a book flew into my Kindle. I will be part of a virtual book tour: http://birthtouch.com/2013/02/birthtouch-virtual-book-tour-linky-with-these-fabulous-women/#more-1107

snippets of motherhood: signs of puperty

this morning middle kid asked if girls get hair under their arms; upon learning that the answer is yes, he said, "I did not see that coming" ;-)

song for the morning

doing his part to keep me "socially relevant"

After we dropped off the last of his friends,  my oldest turned of his music (rap) and told me he had made me a playlist for the car - music he likes but thought I would also like...he said it was for, "white, middle-aged, suburban ladies who wish to remain socially relevant - mostly indie stuff".  I wanted to hug him and punch him at the same time.  And I kinda wanted to hate it.  But damn, I loved every song.  I didn't know the names of anything, but have heard the songs before and was in music heaven.  So I guess that really is my demographic - he's got me pegged.

The other cool thing that happened was beforehand, one of the rap songs came on and he told his friends he had used it to compare to Cather In The Rye for an essay.  And then they talked about the book!  And I mentioned a newish book, Ten Thousand Saints, that has some similar themes and they said it sounded cool. 

These fleeting moments keep me going, through all the less good parenting moments.

Free Parenting Workshop 1/23

Just passing this along - sounds like it could be interesting:

 
Free Parenting Workshop
The Non-Verbal World of Parent and Baby Communicating
In the first year of life, your baby’s primary way of communica8ng is through movement. The non-­‐verbal interac8ons between you and your baby affect his/her interests, preferences and ways of coping in the world.
In this workshop, we will use movement explora8ons to help you understand how your basic style of moving influences your rela8onship with your baby.

Claire Kaplan, LCSW, has a psychotherapy practice in New York City and South Orange, NJ. She specializes in working with parents and has over 12 years of experience working with individuals and groups. Claire is a mother of two.

Wednesday January 23rd 7-­‐9pm

Rosie Hippo Toys 358A Millburn Avenue Millburn, NJ
Call to reserve a spot 917.664.4002 www.claireskaplan.com

Good morning world

Though a big bummer to miss a night of sleep when trying to stay healthy while everyone seems to be dropping like flies, it was so worth it to help support and witness an all natural VBAC - that momma was unstoppable.  And even though it was very similar to her first labor, complete with excruciating back pain and baby tangled up in her long cord, all was different and just as she wanted in the end.  Welcome baby Elise!

Comforts Of Home

My middle guy is having a birthday this week - twelve!  Normally they all like to go to "the place where they cook in front of you" (hibachi) for their birthday dinner.  This morning my boy said he preferred stir-fry at home this year.  Love that kid!  Off to the Asian market I go.

Cesareans and VBAC: avoiding misinformation

I spoke with a woman today about VBAC (though I am unavailable to serve her, I could hear that she just needed to at least be offered a kind ear and some resources).  She is being told by her OB that it's her choice but VBAC is dangerous and there are NO risks to cesareans, so she should schedule a cesarean for 39 weeks (early in her pregnancy, they told her they support VBAC).  Either these doctors are ill-informed or unethical - both troubling.  I gave her the names of other doulas, but also other care providers and told her that while hiring a doula would help, the best move to make would be to explore other care providers and listen with her gut - if it tells her to stay with her current provider, so be it - at least it's by choice and thus she won't scare herself out of going into labor via distrust.  And since it sounded from what she described like her first baby was probably posterior (and that she's an excellent candidate for VBAC based on all she reported about scar, time frame etc), I suggested she consider seeing a chiropractor for optimal positioning, as well as take a look at Spinning Babies. The care provider she is currently with is willing to induce VBACS - hmm, maybe he's the problem, depending on methods of induction? So I suggested acupuncture for post-dates. 

All of this is to say that there is a pattern of misinformation commonly being handed to birthing women and it's upsetting.

Here are some places to get accurate information about cesareans and VBAC:

Childbirth Connection

ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness Network)

VBAC.com

(photo is from Childbirth Connection's booklet, titled in the picture)

"Dying To Have A Child": We're #50

"We're No. 50!" is not a cheer anyone sane would shout and I bet it surprises most Americans when they learn our abysmal maternal mortality statistics, a huge indicator of overall well-being of any country.  We have clearly surpassed the critical mass sweet spot where interventions help more than they hurt...this is unacceptable and we MUST reexamine our way of doing birth otherwise, as the chart shows, we must contemplate the other thing we don't do so well in this country...death. This was taken from Huffington Post wit facts fro the CDC

Nap Nanny - dangerous and should not be used, according to CPSC

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halfway

Halfway points always seem bigger, I think...Five years old is so much older sounding than four.  Now my oldest baby is fifteen.  FIFTEEN!...half way between a child of ten and a young man of twenty.
There were times I just was so "touched out" when you were little and now I will feel lucky if you let me hug you for more than a second today...it goes fast, people!  I've still got little ones who are happy to cuddle, but someday I won't and I try to remember that every day.
Happy birthday, sweetie.  Fifteen is a long time to have been a mom - feels like a lifetime and an instant all at once. 

feel like helping make a dream come true today?

Hurry & place a bid on many fabulous items in a live auction, with all funds going into a fund for friends who are adopting later this year...they are an amazing family already and can't wait to make their son a big brother, so help out of you can!
 ( and bid on my belly cast kit so I don't feel like a loser! ;-)

morning, mourning

I just passed mourners clad in too-hot black clothes, accompanying a flag-covered coffin out to a waiting hearse...it's just an average-busy-sunny Thursday morning for me, but it's a life-changing day for these people and could be for any of us, at any point...I got a lump in mt throat and thought of the sad days I and everyone has had that were just normal days for others. 
I send good thoughts to all for whom today is dark in spite of the sun.

I could use some help over here!

My thought for the day as I plan to attend another damn Board of Education meeting tonight and make plans to go to hearings over the summer about two great teachers denied tenure, oh and try to help people have the births they want to have whenever possible:

History is filled with situations where most people shrugged their shoulders and said, "what can we do? it is the way it is" about any number of things...while others persevered on pushing the proverbial boulder up the damn hill...and eventually things changed.

If each of us is not willing to stand up and speak out when we see something we don't like being done by a power structure, then nothing will ever change.

I think it's getting to be about time for some "Speak truth to power" and "Power to the people"

I am Sisyphus - are you? 'cause this boulder is too heavy to move it by myself. ;-)  Join me - it will even be fun - I'll bring the iced coffee.

Crossing the divide

While watching tightrope walker Nik Wallenda walking over Niagara Falls tonight, I had a kind of funny thought: that tightrope is 5cm wide...half as wide as a woman needs to open up for her baby to be born...and she doesn't get a safety harness.  When I was in transition with my first baby, I remember having this very vivid image that I had to cross a Grand Canyon-like gorge on a shoddy, swinging rope bridge - everyone waiting for me on the other side, cheering me on, but I had to cross on my own.   Congratulations to Nik Wallenda and to every fierce woman making that journey to her baby tonight and every night, all around the world.

are you due during birthin' season?

NPR reblogged this from nevver/UTNE Reader...
Mating season leads to birthing season, I guess.

midwives rock: we knew this already, but nice to have the study

 ACNM Releases Research Showing Significant Midwifery Care Benefits

Key findings confirm women cared for by CNMs/CMs experience optimal health outcomes during pregnancy, childbirth, and beyond. 

See more here

 ..."In addition to improved health outcomes, midwives’ high-touch, low-tech approach to care is associated with lower costs for clients and insurers. Midwives’ judicious, evidence-based use of technology results in a reduced likelihood of unnecessary interventions, including cesareans – a practice in the United States that dramatically increased in less than 40 years from 5 to 33 percent.[ii]..."

Mothers are powerful! happy Mother's Day, y'all

passing this along...


Together, Mothers Are Powerful. 

Last month’s furor over the remarks of political pundits and candidate’s wives launched a flurry of conversation among mothers.

Mothers have a voice of their own to add to the discussion. Authors, activists and others have been writing and identifying the issues raised this political season for decades, and women have been listening, again and again.

It’s time for mothers’ own voices to be heard.

We are a bi-partisan coalition of women’s organizations, experts, and writers who have diligently worked on bringing mother’s issues into the mainstream political discussion.

Some of us are advocates, and some are community organizations. Many of us are authors and experts about mothers’ lives as well.  All of us recognize the value of a mother's contribution to her family, both the paid and unpaid work that women do.

Our message is simple: all mothers need more support.

This Mother’s Day we want to get the word out about our ideas, our work, and our priorities. We offer the following list to provide resources for real information and places for women to gather for intelligent discourse on the many problems — and solutions — to the issues facing mothers and families.

We offer this list as an alternative to the tired and cliched coverage of mothers in the mainstream media.

Please join your voice with ours this Mother's Day. Together, Mothers are powerful.

* * * * *

ANN CRITTENDEN
Author, The Price of Motherhood
Co-founder “MOTHER: Mothers Ought to Have Equal Rights”

DEBRA LEVY
Past President, Mothers & More