22 April 2010

sometimes, not knowing is better

I watch The Biggest Loser & really like Jillian, one of the trainers. But I have to say that it's probably easier to like a public figure if you don't know much about them. Take this quote for instance,
"I'm going to adopt. I can't handle doing that to my body,"

I suppose if that's the way she feels, it's for the best that she doesn't get pregnant. And I think it's great that she feels drawn to create her family through adoption.

BUT it makes me feel uncomfortable that someone who is in the public eye for inspiring women to be strong and feel good about their bodies is putting this idea out there. I understand she had a weight issue as a teen, but so did a lot of us (sometimes way beyond our teen years!) and yet we put it aside. So what do you think - am I being too tough?


Holly said...

I have to agree with you, Kim. I basically felt the same way as Jillian for a long time. For me, it wasn't about body image, but about thinking that I wasn't capable of handling the demands of of giving birth.

As silly as it is, hearing as a young woman how Britney Spears scheduled C-sections, so she wouldn't have to go through L&D really had an impact on me. I thought if I were going to give birth, that would be the way to go. Until I started reading more.

So I think you're absolutely right that her putting that out there is not going to have the most positive effect on some women and girls.

If only more positive messages about birth could get out to the general public. I'm glad Ricki Lake wrote the book she did last year. There definitely needs to be more.

As you know, after all my trepidation, I gave birth, vaginally, to a beautiful son last year. Now I can't imagine having made the decision to follow my original plan to not have biological children.

Stella said...

It's a complicated issue, but it does make you wonder what her influence would be. I work with girls recovering from anorexia. Many of them desperately want babies at some point, but the fear of "doing that to their bodies" is beyond their imagination (until they finish therapy). I think the phrase "doing that to my body" is what has put me off. It makes it sound like something that should be looked down upon.

I'm just getting to the point of being ready to try for my first child soon. I found your blog and can't wait to learn more. Thank you for sharing your experiences.

DoulaMomma said...

@Holly - and did you ever give birth beautifully!! I'm so glad you found it within yourself...you are mighty!

Thanks for doing the work you do. I completely get what you are saying...I've worked with women who have eating disorders in their pasts & always think it's important for care providers to know this (why don't they ask??) and consider carefully before an off-handed, one-size-fits-all comment about gaining too much in a week or whatever.
I agree that it was the pejorative tone to her words that got my attention. I am not someone who thinks that bio kids are important for every woman - it's legit. not to want kids at all or biologically, but man, the words she used...
My best to you as you embark on this adventure!! Would love to hear more along the way!

The Queen Herself said...

That is a little disappointing to hear she said that. I'm with you. Adoption is awesome, I agree, but when you are publicly in her position, what she said really does come across flippant... it tells me what does she really know about pregnancy, breastfeeding, weight gain and loss... My weight has taken a lot longer to come off this time, but I've met many a mother who were not big exercisers whose weight was back to normal by the 6 week pp checkup. It doesn't have to be the way she thinks it is... especially for her who exercises all the time... I am rambling. Do you get me?

DoulaMomma said...

Totally get you! I'm thinking she has some trauma in her past & it's not just about the body stuff...but you are right, it doesn't sound like she has the facts.