the picture says it all

a soldier meets his baby for the first time

what people think...Homebirth

lots of these floating around, I have to say, I'm enjoying them - this one is fun! (click on the picture to make it big enough to read)

snippet of motherhood: makes my heart melt 2

Every ski mountain seems to have a tree covered in undergarments that have been flung from the lift. Today when we were skiing, this is what I heard:

middle kid, age 11: "there's the bikini tree!"

youngest kid, age 7: "those aren't bikinis, they are bras"

middle: "same thing"

youngest: "actually, they are not the same thing"

I don't know why this struck me as funny, but it did

A nice moment later in the day: the youngest one (on skis) towed his snowboarding brother over a flat part so they could both get to the fun part faster. I heart them.

truly

birth stories sought for a book...

Just passing this along...I know nothing about the editor/author collecting these stories. I'm assuming that although "husband" language is used, any partner is welcome to submit his or her story...

Have you ever thought about writing and sharing your birth story? Birth stories from all women, including minority and/or immigrant women, and the voice of midwives and doulas are wanted for a book about birth stories from the perspective of the midwife, doula, and mother. If fathers want to write about the birth experience as a result of supporting and witnessing their wife's birth, they are welcome as well. All birth stories will be accepted regardless of the outcome. For example, still born birth stories. Share your birth story and email it to me.

For more info, contact yao.doula@gmail.com. You may send your story in English or Spanish. The first draft is due by March 31st, 2012. Please help spread the word. Thank you!

Optimal fetal positioning

Can't hurt & might very well help your baby be in the best position (anterior vs. posterior/"back labor") for an easier labor and a lower chance of c-section ...check out this important topic on ICAN's blog or go to the wonderful source, Spinning Babies - I have studied with Gail Tully, of Spinning Babies & it's amazing information

2 second take-away: think of your belly as a hammock and spend time each day belly-forward to encourage your baby to settle it's back into your belly hammock

cesarean rates: NJ, NY & the nation

Do you know the cesarean rate of the hospital in which you intend to birth? Here are the stats for NJ and for NY. And if you click on the state link at the right side of the hospital break out stats, there is a bar chart covering 20 years of stats and a list of which hospitals support VBAC - very helpful information.

NJ folks, NJ's cesarean rate is among the highest in the nation - looks like we lost the dubious distinction of being number one to LA last year; NY is not far behind.

While it's great news that there was a measurable decline in cesareans from 2009 to 2010 (according to most recent stats available and thought to be because fewer teens, who are at high risk for cesarean, are giving birth), it's still way too high. Childbirth Connection (a wonderful resource, if you don't already know it) notes that,

The best outcomes for mothers and babies appear to occur with cesarean section rates of 5% to 10%. Rates above 15% seem to do more harm than good (Althabe and Belizan 2006)

Time magazine photo

my cooking inspiration - free style

When I was in high school, one of my dear friends was from Belgium and I spent a lot of time at her home. I'm pretty sure my friend just wished her parents were more American and I know I wished mine were the least bit European.

They were stylish (I still have a scarf brought back to me from an annual "boring" Belgique trip) and, although their home was not particularly fancy, their creature comforts were all new to me...I grew up with 50/50 poly blend sheets & Dial soap while they had fluffy duvets with smooth cotton covers and exotic-seeming personal care products. Needless to say, I have had duvets with high thread counts since I started buying my own bedding (so much easier to make the bed) and believe that the items we use and touch every day should make us happy: I have a thing for nice soaps, lotions and potions...and kitchen tools!

It was at this home that I first had Nutella and "real" butter outside of a restaurant bread basket; we were a margarine household. I once saw her mom making mayonnaise with an immersion blender and it was a revelation - I didn't even know this was something one could make and had no idea what the implement she used was...my home strictly featured Miracle Whip from the jar. So many good things were had for the first time there - Olive Oil, boiled eggs served in egg cups, amazing cafe au lait. My mom was a very good cook but she also relied heavily on Hamburger Helper-esq food for weeknight meals.

I recall her mom throwing together (according to her) one meal in particular: lean pork chops sauteed in a bit of Dijon mustard with capers and herbs, because that's what was in the fridge. It was at least 25 years ago and I still remember a light bulb going off and thinking, "this is the way I will cook someday".

And you know what? I do. Of course I have many cookbooks and look to them for inspiration, even following recipes often. But I'm mostly an improvisational cook, sometimes employing my own immersion blender! The recipe calls for hazelnuts? Why not try walnuts or pine nuts? It's about about layering and deepening flavor profiles, even if the recipe doesn't suggest something or I don't have a particular ingredient. What's the worst that could happen? Just maybe it will be even better. It's part of what makes cooking fun for me. It's actually how I approach most things in life, I think - perhaps because I'm often too lazy to read the instructions! I sometimes wonder if my kids would prefer the Hamburger Helper, hold the capers - maybe the pendulum swings with each generation...

Very often when I'm cooking, I think of my high school friend's home and the debt of gratitude I owe to her family - their influence has made my life more comfortable and the food I prepare more inventive. Thank you, famille Goffaux!

my old 'hood: sh*t Park Slope parents say

I guess things haven't changed that much - especially regarding the Coop! Love that they worked in THE HAT story! ;-)

VBAC discussion with Dr. Stuart Fischbein

LISTEN HERE

Listen to internet radio with ProgressiveParenting on Blog Talk Radio

This was broadcast earlier in the week on Progressive Parenting on Blog Talk Radio. I found the host's introduction tedious (sorry), so don't give up...Dr. Fischbein is worth the wait - lots of great, crystal clear information for those seeking a VBAC.
And for those who have not yet given birth, remember that avoiding the primary cesarean is the best plan of all.
Read more about Dr. Fischbein

I am blessed to regularly work with several care providers who value and actively support VBAC for my clients...the good ones are out there and finding true support rather than mere tolerance is key. If your gut is not agreeing with your ears, go with your gut.

For more information on VBAC, check out ICAN & VBAC.com

snippet of motherhood: field notes from the trenches

Experiment:
Begin standoff - refuse to pick up oldest kid's clothes off the floor of bathroom; remind him to pick them up, as they are his. How long will it take to elicit action? Who will blink first?

Outcome:
Subject will kick them further away, but not actually pick them up...for 2 showers/2 days thus far...must stay strong & get tougher. Pull to have clean bathroom floor is overtaking.

Note/possible upside:
Perhaps this is an excuse to go shopping for "laying down the law & not raising a slob" outfit/accessories.

new obsession - the hats of Downton Abbey

Are you like me and can't get enough of all things Downton Abbey, but especially the millinery? We are in good company - see what "I Should Have Been A Blogger" has to show & tell on the topic...fun!
I was born in the wrong era - I long for these hats..I love the clothes too, though they are all wrong for me.

fun!

Check out Homebirth Ryan Gosling - you will for sure get a laugh

community

wish i could credit the photo - would if I could

Today I drove past a home up the hill from me that looks to be undergoing renovation and it made me remember dropping someone off there years ago. She was a quite old woman who tapped on my window while I was in the train station pick up traffic. She asked me if I might run her up the (formidable and just under 1 mile) hill, as she was not feeling up to the walk - she called me "dear". I thought it was cool of her to just ask for what she needed - it was an "it takes a village" moment that I enjoyed.
I hope it's her renovating her home and if it's not, I hope all is well with her, even if that means she's passed on.

wham bam, thank you ma'am

Does the Susan G. Komen organization's reversal of their new (now old) grant funding criteria that would make Planned Parenthood ineligible for future grants really change anything? I'm not so sure - time will tell, I guess. I'm going to be paying attention and I bet a lot of other people will too - it will take them eating a bit more of that old humble pie in order to wash the bad taste out of my mouth.

According to an article on today's Huffington Post:

To be clear, Komen's apology is not a promise to renew Planned Parenthood grants. It's a promise to "continue to fund existing grants" to the organization -- which it was already planning on doing -- and to make it eligible for future grants. At no point in the press release does Brinker promise that Komen will renew grants to Planned Parenthood.

The upside: Planned Parenthood received a lot of donations to be used for healthcare and perhaps people, and voters, had a wake-up call about transparency in the organizations we support and the corporate and political alliances that might be influencing their missions.

going there...

Irony, thy name is the US Postal Service ...looking through mail from the last couple of days, I found a postcard for Susan G. Komen/Race For The Cure organization reminding me of all the races I could join in and support...um, no.

Instead, I will support Planned Parenthood - the place that provided me with well-woman care, including breast exams, pap smears and birth control when I was a student and before I had a job that included insurance...ya know, the 97% part of what they do.

I support my friends who are very involved and give their time and energy to local races/events/fundraising for SGK. But I can't support the organization until they reconsider this decision...the organization should not be making healthcare political, but now that they have, so am I. I stand with Planned Parenthood.

my new motto

yes, that small mindedness does make your ass look big

thanks, Phil!

Punxsutawney Phil...Keith Srakocic/AP

I love you, man...Viva winter!

sh*t crunchy mommas say

love this from Mama Natural! if we can't laugh at ourselves...

snippet of motherhood: the good old days

Today, walking to our car after his weekly speech therapy and talking about homework, my 7yo son began reminiscing about when times were easy...afternoon preschool.

"Remember when I was little and we could just play all day at school? We just made stuff and had fun. No homework...that was pretty great"

A lady passing us on the sidewalk must have overheard and gave me a big, knowing smile. I didn't have the heart to break it to him that, well, it's kind of downhill from here if he's already feeling that way! Poor bubby...

So we are going to make some banana bread to celebrate the halfway point of the school year (tomorrow is the 90th day and they are celebrating) - and we will try to enjoy this moment, right here, right now.

Jenna's right, breastfeeding may not make the baby weight come right off

Photo Credit: Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic - at Screen Actor's Guild awards

In US Magazine, Jenna Fischer of The Office says losing the weight she gained while pregnant has not been the breeze she had heard it would be, but that's OK

"I think I'm just going to be a little bit bigger for a little bit longer," Fischer said, "and that's fine with me."

Nice to see a celebrity mom telling it how it is for most women...

Read the whole article here

fierce momma

Worldwide Movement against Belo Monte dam project in Amazonia

Save them, join and share : http://www.facebook.com/petition.belomonte.en

snippet of motherhood: like mother, like son

Yesterday my middle son, who just turned 11, said,

"Mom, do you think it's time to take everything out of the pantry and get rid of what's old? It looks kind of messy."

This from a boy who has to be completely hassled to clean up his room most of the time. But he is the kid who watches HGTV with me - maybe he has inherited my nesting/organization/design urges. The funny thing is that I had been thinking exactly the same thing about the pantry the day before. I guess I have my weekend project - maybe I'll get him to help.

Homebirth upswing in the news again

Amanda Steen/NPR

Shannon Earle holds her new baby Kiera Breen Earle, moments after she was born at their home last year.

You can read about the 29% overall (more for older white women) jump from 2004-2009 on the NPR site, on "All Things Considered", but there is also a handy link where you can listen...nothing soothes me like the clear, melodic and in-depth reporting of NPR.

"It's as safe for women who are at low risk as hospital birth for low-risk women but with significantly reduced rates of preterm birth, low birth weight, unnecessary caesarean sections and also very high rates of maternal satisfaction," says Katherine Prown of The Big Push, which is advocating for legalizing midwives in more states.

Babies born at home were less likely to be born prematurely or underweight, the analysis found. And for many women with uncomplicated pregnancies, home birth can often be a fine alternative, experts say.

everybody's doing it

Love this image! And now that I'm checking out the blog, I really like it too...
As seen on BLUE MILK
Image credit: “Yo Mama” breastfeeding her daughter while sitting with her teammates from the Anarchy Angels Roller Derby Team (photo by Russ Desaulniers) via Avital Norman Nathman.

...what a (pregnant) girl wants, what a (pregnant) girl needs

gotta love it...created by Pregnant Chicken, check out "Porn For Pregnant Ladies" - handsome men saying all the things a momma really wants to hear. Even if your baby havin' days are behind you, I promise you will laugh and enjoy!

Happy MLK Day

Here's one of my favorite songs (Jack Johnson & Ben Harper singing) - I think Dr. King would have liked it as well...

#muffintop

I feel like I'm wearing the social media equavilent of mom jeans in a low rise world. (don't get me started on muffin tops)...Me - a fairly tech savvy person.
So I guess I signed up for LinkedIn a million years ago and feel like a jerk everyday when people want to "connect" and I don't even know how. Am I offending people? Should I find the info and get going on it? Can't we just stay connected via Facebook or email?
And then there's Twitter...I have an old account. The crappy thing is that someone already had doulamomma, DoulaMomma and DoulaMomma1, leaving me with @MommaDoula (edited to add that I am now @DoulaMommaKC). oy - not that I know how to tweet. I know hash tags are involved and that I thought hash tags were the pound symbol...sigh.
I feel like some old gal at the Senior Rec Center needing to get one of the volunteer "young people" to help me figure it all out.
And now Skype - need to figure that out too for a project - how will I ever remember all these passwords?

I'm feeling like pony express or carrier pigeon was not such a bad thing. How much can any one person keep up with? I'm tired and cranky and need to have more coffee...and maybe a muffin.

picture of stone tablet above is this

repost: a birthday message from Grandma

My middle son is 11 today - happy birthday to him and to Dr. Martin Luther King - I always love that they share the same birthday!
This is from maybe two years ago...

birthday greeting from Grandma

my mother-in-law sent this note with O's birthday gift and I always appreciate the time she takes to pass along these memories - no Hallmark from her!

Dear O,
I remember the night you were born - L was sleeping at our house and I woke him up after your father called to tell us you were ready to come to us.

It was very cold that night, but L was very excited and didn't mind waking and facing the cold. On the way over, when we got near the George Washington Bridge, there were detour signs because of construction.

Grandma and L got lost...

By the time we reached the birthing center, you had already arrived. I specifically remember the joy in your mother's and father's faces just looking at you!! Everyone was thrilled to welcome you onto this planet!!

Each year as you grow, I see you loving this world and all those around you as much as they love you!!

Love, hugs and kisses.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

follow up to the baby Jay-Z/Beyonce produced

Get it? Produced? Because even though they are new parents, however they got there (surrogate and fake baby bump? Cesarean? Vaginal? Hard to tell with all the rumors circulating), it seems like quite the production. I do feel better about the story now that the NY Times has weighed in and not just the (Fox owned) NY Post! In that article, a new mother impacted is quoted as saying, “I guess that was the only special event happening in the hospital”.

Case in point, check out the song Jay-Z has already released (that was fast!):

Glory - Jay-Z feat. Blue Ivy Carter

For private people, it seems kind of wacky to sing about miscarriage, conception place and, well, a touch odd to discuss death by liver failure while celebrating a new baby. But also it seems like the baby is all about being an extension of them as parents. I know that's not uncommon, but it seems especially true here.

I do like the line, "life is a gift, open it up" and of course, the baby crying - sweet.

However this baby Blue got here, I hope she is healthy and happy. I also hope that however Beyonce became a mother, she feels great about it...truly.

Congrats to Beyonce & Jay-Z but damn, who do you (and hospital administrators) think you are??

Beyonce and Jay-Z are new parents...great - God bless and best wishes to you and your baby daughter, Blue Ivy Carter...BUT get over yourselves, ...parents with babies in the NICU care about seeing their babies, not you. Shame on you both and the decision makers at Lenox Hill Hospital who are putting your absurd demands for privacy over the RIGHTS of other parents/families to see their own babies.

Read news article here.

snippet of motherhood: cold hands, warm heart

My momma-heart was warmed on this frigid day by seeing my oldest helping his brothers gear up for their first evening of ski club (oldest starts next week, though he's already been boarding this season). He loaned his gear bag fairly willingly and helped my middle son figure out how to get his snowboarding boots on/strap in to board and gave advice on the mountain (he's familiar with it, having been in the same club when he was younger). Because my middle son is making the switch from skis to a board, I think he knew my youngest might be a bit envious and so it was nice to see him complementing youngest's super cool "pro looking" skis.*

Great also seeing my guys pop out of bed this morning and then rush home from school, just so excited to get out there. They didn't even care much about what snack to take and were not grubby about how much cash I was handing out for dinner. My middle even agreed to have his little brother sit near him (but not with!) on the bus.

Hope the lame pocket warmers are enough to keep them enchanted!


*here's a tip: your old gym bag with slot for yoga mat makes a great ski bag for a kid...skis slid right in where yoga mat would go. You're welcome! ;-)

Welcome baby Gabriel Raymond!

born at 7:26 this evening, weighing 8lb 11oz...we were expecting you hours sooner, counting on the fact that your birth would be like your big brother's and sister's births...you third babies so often keep us waiting and guessing! Your momma worked so very hard and as soon as you were in her arms she said, "I love you and I claim you - you are my baby!" Your proud daddy told you about the world in your first minutes - you are so loved!
I think you will be a powerful and dramatic soul given that you were born at the peak of opera music, "Flower Duet" by Lakme...so that meteor shower due tonight must be a special welcome from the universe just for you! Welcome baby Gabriel!

Happy last day of 2011!

I'm waiting on a baby and enjoying family and friend time as this year closes and another opens...
I was always told that how you spend New Year's Day is important, for it is the foundation of how you will spend the whole year. I like to put the same mindfulness into the last day of the year too:
thinking, "this is the last time I will do ___ for the year"...whether it's making coffee or making the bed, I like paying attention to the little things & enjoying them...we will never have *this* day again.


Happy Old Year & Happy New Year!


*I don't know who took this picture - it's floating around Facebook...thanks to whomever!

belated welcome to Elizabeth Maclay!

Born December 22 at 5:30pm, after a super long labor...Elizabeth, your heroic mom worked so hard while you were making your way into this world and your daddy was right there every minute using all his muscles to help your momma as she labored. 9 pounds, 1oz and is over 21 inches long - nice! So glad you made it home in time for Christmas - what a nice gift, made even nicer for the fact that you are named in honor of your great grandmother. Welcome!

Welcome Andrew Simon!

Born today at 11:34am after another fairly quick, intense labor. Your strong, brave momma got to the hospital at 9cm less than an hour before you were born. And your water broke at 11:11 - that's got to be lucky, right? And once again, your daddy knew just the right way to press on her back. Everyone was so excited to meet you - even the midwife rushed over on her day off and got there just in time. I think you are going to be an acrobat - time will tell.
You are perfect at 8lb 1oz and there is some talk of dimples! You will soon discover that your big brother is super cool - a total glass-half-full kind of person who, I'm sure, is super excited to meet you.

Welcome!

Welcome Joseph Ajay

Born this morning at 3:22am after a brief, intense labor (no time for that tub) by lantern and Christmas tree lights*. Only three contractions of pushing and you were born, nibbling the doctor's finger while entering the world! There is a picture of your mom smiling peacefully just before you were born because she knew it was time to meet you. She is a rock star!

Your proud poppa knew just how to do the hip squeeze your momma needed and was calm and right there every minute. Your grandma got to kiss your toes when you were only moments old.

You are a nursing champ, making your momma (a newly minter La Leche League leader!!) so happy.

What a big, beuatiful boy, 9lb 3oz, with lots of black hair and eyebrows. Your big sisters are going to love you so!


*the hospital was testing it's backup generator, so most of the power was off.

snippet of motherhood: makes my heart melt

Bananas with brown spots...no one around here wants to eat them that way. They usually go into the freezer for smoothies or future baking. Today, however, I decided to seize a rare moment of quiet and see if my middle kid wanted to learn how to make banana bread.

I'm sure they would figure this kind of stuff out if they need to, but I want to know that they will be men who have a few cooking techniques under their belts and can properly fold fitted sheets and any of the other stuff I feel compelled to show them...

As we were cooking, he said something that made me so glad,

"Mom - did you ever notice that food cooked at home tastes so much better than any other food you can buy?"

This from my non-eater. I love that kid, and I'm glad he gets the value of home cooked food...at least food containing chocolate.

Pure, Utter Joy!

This ecstatic photo of a home water birth in Australia, taken by midwife photographer Jane McCrae, is in the running to win National Geographic's Photo 2011 contest, showing the world how utterly joyous birth can be...something to be thankful for, indeed!

The photographer's commentary,

Only a mother can understand the joy of locking eyes with her newborn babe the moment they take their first breath.

After the powerful journey of labor, Natalia embraces her babe for the very first time. Sheer exhilaration, joy and love describes the moment of bringing forth her child. The gentle hand of her midwife, trusting in the innate wisdom of birth

Location: Homebirth. Tumbi Umbi, NSW, Australia

Can you spare 3 minutes? Cord clamping: new information confirms what many of us "knew" already

Most families I serve ask for "delayed" cord clamping, assuming the baby is well and not in need of immediate care away from the mom. But what constitutes "delayed"? It's always been a mushy concept and for some providers, delayed is 10 seconds while another might wait 10 minutes. A study abstracted on Medscape (see below) finds that 3 minutes is enough to allow the baby to take back what rightfully belongs to it and decrease chances of anemia and other health implications:

Delayed Cord Clamping Raises Iron Stores at 4 Months

Ricki Lewis, PhD

Authors and Disclosures

November 15, 2011 — Allowing placental blood to flow into the neonate for 3 minutes, rather than cutting the umbilical cord within the first 10 seconds, as is common, increases blood volume sufficiently to elevate ferritin at 4 months, finds a study published online November 16 in theBritish Medical Journal.

Adequate iron stores are essential for brain neuron myelination, dendritic growth, neurotransmission, and energy metabolism in neurons and glia. Because iron demands are high in the young, iron-deficiency anemia and subclinical iron deficiency are associated with long-lasting cognitive and behavioral problems. Past studies that support a delay in cord cutting were conducted in developing or middle-income populations that have a high prevalence of iron deficiency anemia (ie, in Guatemala, India, Mexico, and Zambia), but did not follow up children past the neonatal period. Iron deficiency is less prevalent, yet still fairly common, in other nations.

Ola Andersson, MD, a neonatologist at the Hospital of Halland in Sweden, and colleagues enrolled 400 full-term infants born after low-risk pregnancies between April 2008 and September 2009, and randomized the time of cord cutting to either 10 seconds or 3 minutes. When a birth was imminent, the midwife would open an envelope assigning either cord-cut time. Midwives held the neonates 20 cm below the level of the mothers' vulvas for 30 seconds and then placed the infants on the mothers' abdomens to facilitate blood transfer.

The researchers assessed infant blood sampled on the second day for CBC (hemoglobin, packed cell volume, mean cell volume, mean cell hemoglobin concentration, reticulocyte count, and reticulocyte hemoglobin), iron status (serum iron, transferrin, serum ferritin, transferrin saturation, and soluble transferrin receptors), C reactive protein, and bilirubin and repeated all but the bilirubin test on 4-month samples.

Because past rationale for cutting the cord immediately after birth was increased risk for adverse events resulting from excess blood, the researchers also assessed the late-cord-cut infants for respiratory symptoms, polycythemia, and need for phototherapy to treat neonatal jaundice. Blood was drained from the placenta and volume measured, which explained the higher average weight of the babies with later-cut cords.

At 4 months, the infants in both groups had similar hemoglobin concentration, but the infants whose cords were cut later had 45% (95% confidence interval, 23% - 71%) higher mean ferritin concentration (117 μg/L vs 81 μg/L; P < .001) and lower prevalence of iron deficiency (1 [0.6%] vs 10 [5.7%] infants; P = .01). The delayed group also had lower prevalence of neonatal anemia (2 [1.2%] vs 10 [6.3%] infants; P= .02). The groups did not differ in respiratory symptoms, polycythemia, or hyperbilirubinemia.

Every 20 babies having delayed clamping could prevent 1 case of iron deficiency, the researchers estimate. They conclude that delayed clamping "should be considered as standard care for full term deliveries after uncomplicated pregnancies."

Patrick van Rheenen, MD, a consultant pediatrician at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands, agrees in an accompanying editorial that "enough evidence exists to encourage a routine change in practice."

The study was supported by grants from the Regional Scientific Council of Halland; the HASNA Foundation, Halmstad; HRH Crown Princess Lovisa’s Foundation for Child Care, Stockholm; and the Framework of Positive Scientific Culture, Hospital of Halland, Halmstad The authors and the editorialist, Dr. van Rheenen, have disclosed no relevant financial relationships.

BMJ. Published online November 16, 2011. Full text

Unclear how this would impact cord blood banking for those who wish to do that, I contacted one of the major providers of this service, CBR. According to their phone representative, banking requires 100 million total nucleated cells - not a specific volume of blood. Every collection is tested to make sure there are enough cells for banking. It was the opinion of the representative with whom I spoke that allowing the cord to pulse for 3 minutes would still leave sufficient blood to allow for banking. Happily/surprisingly,CBR will call and give people the option to continue with the service in the event that not enough cells are present to meet their threshold for storage or exercise the option of a full refund. They said that it's very rare, as most samples are in the billions. They were aware of the study and it had been passed around there for their education. It is their hope that someday even small samples will be able to be "grown" into large amounts of stem cells.

well that's a new one...

Last night, as my much-delayed plane landed, I checked messages and there were several...a client's labor had started a bit early, but she did not need the waiting backup yet and knew I was en route. Then another, just before my plane landed: her water broke and they were on their way to the hospital...eek! Although I'd been mad that my flight was rerouted to NYC instead of NJ, it ended up being great - I went straight from the airport to the hospital in the city. No birth bag and wearing cowboy boots, but it didn't matter. I did have my iPad and was able to supply the music they had left in their rush to get to the hospital, as well as waters and such.
Just goes to show, it's not about the stuff or the toys - just being present with an open heart is often what's best. (minus the boots, maybe)

Welcome baby Guiliana!

Born on your Grandma's birthday very early this morning - you are so beautiful and delicate. Your momma knew just what she needed to do and your daddy was right there with her for every minutes of your labor and birth...
welcome to the world!!

Welcome Abbey!

Beautiful girl - born with the full moon, within an hour of your girl cousin...a hawk told me you were coming. What wonderful instincts you have, just like your momma! Welcome to this world, little girl.

an open letter to leaders from The MotherHood Blog

Dear 2012 Presidential Candidates,

We are your future constituents and we are parents.

We are American mothers and fathers and grandparents and guardians. Our families might be the most diverse in the world. Blended and combined in endless permutations, we represent every major religion, political ideology and ethnic culture that exists. We are made from equal parts biology and choice. Our children come to us in every way possible—including fertility miracles, adoption, and remarriage.

Our very modern families embody the freedom that defines America. We embody America. We are rich in diversity, but we are united in our family values. We come together today, with one voice, to express our grave disappointment in the national political discourse.

The 2012 countdown has barely begun and we are already bombarded with the warmed-over, hypocritical rhetoric of 2008. We are living in a time where 15.1% of Americans now live in poverty, the unemployment rate stands at 16%, and we are spending close to $170 billion annually between the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Given the current state of affairs we would expect every candidate to focus on the issues that truly matter: job creation, debt-relief, taxes, education, poverty, and ending the war(s). Instead, it is already clear to us that the conversation has been hijacked, with the goal of further polarizing our nation into a politically motivated and falsely created class-war.

We will not stand for another campaign year in which politicians presume to know what our family values are as they relate to the nation.

To be clear, here are our family values:

• Affordable health care, including family planning, for all Americans. We will not tolerate any candidate using the shield of “Choice” to blind us from the issues that really matter. When funding is stripped from organizations like Planned Parenthood, access to sliding-scale health care (including yearly pap smears & mammograms), comprehensive sex education, and family planning is blocked from the poorest of the population.

• Access to education, and the ability to actually use it. We want quality, affordable, federally-funded full-day, pre-K programs made available in every State, in order to provide an even starting point for all children enrolled in public schools— regardless of the wealth of the district or town they live in.

• A reinstatement of regulations for banks issuing mortgages and full prosecution for those who engaged in fraud. We want full accountability —investigation, indictment and prosecution— of those individuals and financial institutions who engaged in fraudulent lending practices and who helped create the massive foreclosures that left many families homeless or struggling to keep their homes.

• A return of strict environmental regulations protecting water, air, food, and land that were removed in the last two decades. We want our children to grow up in a world not weighed down by the strains of pollution and global warming. Between BPA in our products, sky-rocketing rates of asthma in kids, questionable hormones in our over-processed food, and more, we need leaders who will put our needs and safety over the desires and profits of large corporations.

Family planning, healthcare, education, economic solvency and environmental safety: these are our national family values.

Candidates who demonstrate the ability to understand the gravity of these issues, and their impact on our families, and who can provide actual, viable solutions to these problems will garner our support and our votes.

We believe in our democratic system, and we'll continue to use our voices and our votes to see that it reaches its fullest potential.

Sincerely,

Your future constituents,

The Mothers & Fathers of America

To whom it may concern,

Dear leaders and aspiring leaders of the free world,

I bet many of you were called to politics out of a desire to serve and make the world a better place. Well, it looks like you have lost your way.

In addition to being a wife and mother, I work to serve birthing women and families. In that role, I see every day people within healthcare who have also lost their way. Not unlike physicians and others in healthcare, you have taken an oath to serve those who have entrusted themselves to you. I know as well as anyone the demands of service can take a toll personally. We are all human, with our own needs and our own families and aspirations. But when you find that your own interests are causing you to sell out the best interests of those you serve, it's time to move on. Otherwise, it's time to have integrity and do what you said you would do. It's simple really.

We gave you your power, please don't forget that.

BLOG-IN! SPEAK OUT! Parents Send a Letter To Washington

* Today, across the web, bloggers will be simultaneously posting this letter as a new form of democratic protest called the Blog-In. I am just one of many. Click here to see a full list of the writers participating. (Our hashtag on Twitter is #BlogIn2011.)

a loving universe

I sometimes read my horoscope. There - I said it. I find it a bit embarrassing that I turn to horoscopes like a crystal ball when I'm stressed about something, but I do.
Anyway...here's part of what it said...not what I was worried about, but so very nice...about the nicest thing I could imagine reading:

If you have children, you will see them protected and cared for by a loving universe. You need not worry about your children!

"protected and cared for by a loving universe" - isn't that just the best?

if a pumpkin had a home birth

love it! another facebook share, originally created and posted by Blessed Birth Doula

snippet of motherhood: speaking of Land Sharks

Tonight I had to go to the mall (a sad visit to the Genius Bar at the Apple store; RIP family computer hard drive) and I passed the Pottery Barn Kids store...outrageously expensive Halloween costumes were in the window and there was a sale! I felt excited for a split second until I remembered that even my youngest, at 7, is too old for the adorable creatures they were offering...only spooky, preferably bloody, will do around here. sigh...

(picture of a PBK costume)

when pumpkins give birth

Saw this on a facebook page for a band, "ZOMBIE! Real Horror Rock!"... maybe go and like their page!

Ten years ago

I was still home. Recently back from maternity leave (and suffering from more than a little postpartum something or other), I was sitting on our bed, pumping breast milk for my son before heading into the city for a meeting. I turned on the news to check weather etc., trying to figure out which of the three things in my wardrobe that fit would be best to wear. They were reporting that a small plane had hit one of the towers...there was some smoke, but they said it was likely a private plane, an accident. Maybe because my dad flew small planes when I was a kid, I thought, "you would have to be an idiot to accidentally hit a skyscraper, maybe the pilot had a heart attack or something - sad - but damn...I bet there will be delays and the city will be a nightmare today"...I feel so bad that that was my reaction...so selfish.
Then, of course, the TV showed the second plane hit, live, and for a crazy second I thought, "wow - what a horrible coincidence...is there a problem with air traffic control??"...
I ran and told my husband (who would normally be at work downtown, but the kids had a pediatrician appointment and I'd asked him to go in late so I could make my meeting; he couldn't get back into his office for quite a bit after) to turn on the TV. Then I called my parents, in an earlier time zone, and told them to turn on the TV, that we were ok. I remember my mom saying, "oh, God...we're going to war over this". She was right, of course.

Because denial was part of the equation, I called my boss to ask if the meeting was still on (!) and she was freaking out...colleagues (not people I worked with closely) had been on one of the planes and people in our office (a high floor of a building adjacent to Grand Central, so that was a concern too) had kids at a church preschool down by the towers (the kids were ok) and they couldn't get through, of course, and for some reason there was no way for them to get TV or radio and I remember putting on WNYC and they listened over speaker phone for a long time.

Later, after the towers fell, we went and got our oldest from preschool. I regret that the TV was on for a long time before we realized our son was seeing the horrible images on a loop. We were sort of hypnotized watching... At some point, I ran into my town... not sure what I was thinking, but I bought emergency supplies, like for a blizzard. A stranger asked what she should buy and I told her what I was buying and she said she would do the same...she was so afraid. I saw a friend who had made it back from downtown...she worked at the towers but had been running late...she hadn't gotten to work yet, thankfully. She was so shaken but was buying food for all the strangers who had followed her home...people who didn't even live in NJ but ended up here just to get out. While I was in the store, people were either kind of zoned out or panicky and were exclaiming, "they just bombed the Sears Tower" and all the other rumors that were circulating. I ran to the bank and withdrew cash then went and got gas...for what? Where would we go?
I couldn't sit still at home, so we all packed up and went to donate blood with so many others. We waited for a few hours, sure that we would help save lives. If only.

Later, I was so aware of the quiet...no planes. And the blue, blue perfect sky, marred only by the smell of smoke, but more than smoke...
That evening neighbors came out into the street...was it that night we lit candles? I can't remember. People gathered and were kind, seeking connection and trying to process.

I feel guilty for feeling so sad when nothing actually happened to me. Sure, I know people who lost someone, preschool parents were lost, but we were ok. I do know that i changed my life partly because of that day...quit the law and became a doula, sort of a rebirth, but if I could turn back time, I would.

I hope you are with people you love, doing something you love today. Remembering however feels right. Maybe it will be another beautiful blue sky day.

add this to your hospital bag

At a birth this week (I know...where are those baby announcements...I'm months behind...but this baby does not yet have a name, so I'm waiting...), the couple brought with them something simple yet brilliant:

a power strip! With all the cell phones, laptops, music sources etc., it was so very helpful.

FREE Sling offer from Seven Everyday Slings

offer for a FREE sling
(current code is "breastfeeding"; you pay S&H)
www.sevenslings.com
Sling highly recommended by a client!

Holistic Moms meeting: Essex County, NJ

Passing this along...

this month's Holistic Moms of Essex County meeting:

Vaccines: Making an Informed Decision

Join us as Maureen Drummond, the former co-leader of the NJ Coalition for Vaccination Choice, shares information on vaccine ingredients and their impact on the body. She has been an advocate and activist for full disclosure and informed consent on all matters concerning vaccination for the last 18 years.

The meeting will be on Monday June 27th at 6:30 pm. We will meet at Maplewood Memorial Library at 51 Baker Street in Maplewood.

**Please note the change in time and location for this month's meeting**

Welcome Joseph Thomas

Born very early this morning, just before 1 AM, May 19 and weighing 6lb 10oz.

Joseph...Wowee...you sure took your time...days of practice contractions and then more than 24hrs of active labor while a big storm raged outside. Your parents were amazing...so prepared, knowing exactly what they wanted (and got)...all natural, very focused and calm. Your momma may have shifted some walls while in labor with you - she leaned and pushed and pushed on them for most of your labor! She's tough! Your folks never lost their cool and remained so happy and unassuming that it seemed everyone at the hospital was kind of giddy.
When it came time for you to be born, it was your daddy, with the midwife's guidance, who caught you and gave you straight to your momma. You were also very calm and alert and took it all in.

Welcome, baby boy!

Welcome, Luke Robert

How are these for cool stats: born at 7:47am weighing 7lb 11oz! An earlier than expected birthday with a fast and furious labor punctuated by a LONG transition of being *almost* there! But once you came out, you were calm as could be, with your full head of hair and bright eyes just taking it all in.

Your momma thought through everything and knew just what she needed to get you here. Your daddy was solid in his support, reminding her of her priorities along the way.

Enjoy your big brother, Owen...you will need to start working on your golf swing (and most other sports) now if you are to give him any competition... I bet you guys are going to have a blast! Both of you born on Tuesday...full of grace.

Welcome to the world, lovey.

lovely

from a story in People, Victoria's Secret model, Miranda Kerr, nursing her son Flynn (actor Orlando Bloom is the dad) while on a work break...I appreciate her putting this out there...

Welcom Vivian Claire

What an honor to share my birthday with such a beauty! Vivian Claire swam into this side of the world today at 1:35pm weighing 8lb, with perfect eyebrows and the ability to make labor monitors stop working, just like her big sister!

Vivian, after a slow but consistent start to labor through the night, your momma was a rockstar! ...a fun, leisurely morning at home with a pre-storm breeze blowing through the open windows and lovely music playing, old-school, on the turntable. Then a drive through a crazy storm - your momma said she was born during a huge storm as well. She was almost ready to push by the time we got to the hospital, leaving just enough time for the tub to fill. Three pushes and you were out, winking at us. Your daddy cut the cord and never left your momma's side. I think you will always be the youngest in your family, but I wouldn't mind if your folks had about 10 more babies because they are so wonderful!

Best birthday ever! ...happy birth day to you! xoxo

welcome Joyce Elizabeth

belated once again! Born Saturday, 4/23/11 at 6:03pm, weighing 7lb 13oz at 20 3/4" long with LOTS of lovely hair.

"Saturday's child must work hard for a living" and so must her momma work for that child's birth, apparently...

Joyce, your mom worked so very hard, manifesting patience like almost none I've seen. Contractions that wouldn't quite "catch" to become labor started late Sunday night the weekend before you were born and continued almost constantly every day and night, with only a few naps along the way. We walked and lunged, did stairs two at a time, downward dogged, child's posed, soaked, showered, massaged, prayed and all sorts of other things. We even played some card games (I believe your mom won - I know I sure didn't). All the while, your momma cheered on every other baby being born while she was waiting for you to arrive, never losing her good cheer or kindness.

If their dedication to laboring is any indication of how they will be as parents, you hit the parent jackpot! And as an added bonus, they will be able to help you with your math homework (maybe they will help my kids too?? ;-)

Welcome, baby Joyce!

Welcome Townes Danger

That's right, just like his professional dare devil daddy (figuratively), Danger is his middle name (literally)! Love it!

I'm a bit belated because of other laboring mommas, but Townes joined us earth-side on Wednesday, April 20 at 10:36pm and weighed 9pm 14oz, 22" long with some serious hands on him...in short, he's perfect!

Townes, what a rockin birth you had! Family galore from far and wide and jokes and stories that even the doctor took part in. Let's just say it's good that you weren't a girl named Mary Jane! Your momma was so strong and determined and your daddy was right there every step of the way doing just what was needed. The "Push Power Mix" didn't hurt either..."Eye Of The Tiger" to inspire and "Home" with your youngest auntie singing along to call you here. Your parents were such a pleasure that nurses and residents and medical students all wanted to help you get here. Because of your birth, there is one young doctor who may be changing his specialty to obstetrics...I saw him on his way out that night and he was walking on clouds...you helped do that - your birth may make it better for countless babies and mommas in the future.

I can only imagine how fun life is going to be for you because your parents are filled with joy and you have an abundance of aunts, family and friends who are going to surround you with even more love...and really, really good pizza.

Welcome, big boy. I don't know if the world is ready for you but I know you are ready for it. Big hugs to all. XO

But April Fools is over!

I can't imagine the time difference is that great between here and Europe, so I don't think this is a joke...the EU has ruled that formula makers can claim that their artificial milk is just a healthy as breast milk. Enough with the dark ages...I'm ready for a renaissance already. Read all it about it here.

the power of motherhood

feast your eyes on the lovely Ruah Bhay and her handsome boy...love it! If you are in NYC, check her out her amazing yoga classes.

perspective, baby, perspective

I have a good friend with several kids, all born by cesarean. She told me many years ago to remember that not every woman is troubled by not having given birth vaginally. She is one of them - totally pleased with the birth stories of her beautiful children. It seems obvious on it's face, but I was happy for the reminder and recall it frequently...we just can't assume or put people in boxes.

Recently she introduced me to a child as someone who, "helps take babies out of mommies tummies". I didn't correct her, for that is her truth.

*the above image, entitled "First Kiss", is by artist, doula & mother, Amy Swagman. It, and other art, can be purchased in support of ICAN this month for Cesarean Awareness Month

A Mother's Prayer...from Tina Fey's book

ok - I'm re-posting this...I don't have daughters but I love this and now want to read the book, Bossypants.

The Mother’s Prayer for Its Daughter


First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered,
May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half
And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her
When crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the nearby subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock N’ Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance.

Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes. And not have to wear high heels.

What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.
Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long,
For Childhood is short- a Tiger Flower blooming magenta for one day-
And Adulthood is long and Dry-Humping in Cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever,
That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers
And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister,
Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends,
For I will not have that ****. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord,
That I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 a.m., all-at-once exhausted,
bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.
“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck.
“My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental note to call me. And she will forget.
But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen.