23 June 2008

lemons = lemonade

Just back from the Celebration Of Life service. Thunder storms let up & it was beautiful - there must have been rainbows because it was both sunny and raining - I love when nature has a sense of irony.
I don't know how many people were there - 200 maybe? More? But a lot of people loved this guy. It was very upbeat - almost like a wedding. In fact we watched a bit of their wedding video. There were a few tears but more laughter. I was not letting myself cry - I knew if I started it would be hard to stop & that wasn't the point of the day. The toughest was when their 10 yo son played the song he wrote for his dad on his electric guitar. Deep breathing got me through. I read my piece and was happy that many people found it moving and meaningful. After the main service we sat in the library where my friend had met her husband. She said she had just read a book, "How to Meet A Man In 30 Days" or something. They met within the 30, were engaged within 60 and married a year later. And today is his memorial service and the 49th anniversary of his birth.

I wonder how many of the people in attendance were thinking some of what I was: If this were my memorial service, would there be this many people? Is there anything I need to change in order to be living a life that I am proud of? What would I do if this were my husband we were all talking about? (and also, btw, I really dig the Unitarian Universalist approach - honor the passage, celebrate the life...the Reverend said something that struck me, something like, "a veil has fallen between this man and those who love him" - wow. And also she talked about birth and death together, all the while banners with birthing goddesses graced the walls - nice)

An especially wonderful part of tonight was that I got to reconnect with another doula friend, Deb. We hardly ever see each other (though plan to remedy this) & generally end up sitting in the parking lot until way too late chatting and finding it hard to break away. Tonight was no different - what fun to be reminded that there is another friend who completely gets you & with whom it is so easy to be.

Oh - I wore the shoes and they were the right choice. Makes me think of Elvis Costello - "Angels Wanna Wear My Red Shoes"

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