19 March 2009

slow progress

Whether it's labor or a diet/fitness, slow progress is HARD. What's not hard is getting discouraged.
This week I've had a tough time. I've felt sort of trapped in quicksand, just really wanting to curl up and take a nap. I got a cold Monday & allowed myself to give in to it - to just be sick & rest. Tuesday I was back at it & it helped to exercise hard...but I'm feeling discouraged - it seems that everyone around me is getting better results. So I wallowed a bit yesterday.
Today I had to have a talk with myself, while working out...I realized that, as usual for me, I'm trying to control things too much. I'm actually not eating enough, I think...that's what I'm told anyway. I'm working on it. But just like labor, if you try to micromanage it gets in the way, big picture. I need to pull back & look at the amazing positive changes that are happening...someone can be laboring beautifully with all sorts of good stuff happening and it just takes a while to show up at their cervix. I have to trust that this is happening for me too.
I'm also thinking that I need to do some spring cleaning. There was a book out a year or so ago called "Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat" or something...and it sort of makes sense - holding on to stuff that no longer serves us. Just like our stuff, our baggage, can get in the way of labor.

So I'm kinda tired of this prodromal action and want to move into active "labor" and see some real progress that I can measure...but I will try to have patience and breathe and trust...and not be jealous of the woman down the hall with the 3 hour labor!


Elizabeth Gallo said...

You know -- it is so funny -- I don't really know how long my labor was. I mean, I guess I could add up the hours as I know it happened, but I was so happy and grateful to be having it that I have never thought of it that way.

In a way, though, it has made "bouncing back" from pregnancy and childbirth much harder. Any progress back to a slimmer body has been so minimal as to not be visible. I COMPLETELY micromanage myself now that I'm not pregnant. Hmmmm...

carriex3 said...

You are doing it girl!!!!
Great job, keep up the good work:)

DoulaMomma said...

thanks carrie (oh woman of the 3 hour labor, metaphorically!)