11 January 2009

The Talk, over time...

My dear friend's latest blog entry about discussing sex with kids inspired me to write this:
Of course I bought all the books with titles like, "What's Happening Down There" and similar. But in terms of talking to kids about sex, love, reproduction and being healthy and happy, it's so hard to know how much information is too much or too little sometimes.

I try to just take all the little moments where it seems like I can sneak in some information without a formal "this is THE talk"...I try to be casual and informative - like how I might talk about how to safely cook something...so that our conversations on these topics don't seem like a huge deal or something to be dreaded or nervous about. Usually a good time is when we are doing some other activity and a conversational opening presents itself. (And of course they hear more than they probably want to about birth, nursing, placentas and the like!)

I recall a boyfriend's mom had told him (and it made enough of an impression that we talked about it) that there were many things to consider when it came to sex...pregnancy, diseases, emotional readiness and also not learning bad habits like rushing or feeling guilty or bad...so she encouraged him to wait until he really felt like he had a handle on all of these elements because it would hopefully be great, and be much more likely to be great, when he was really ready. I think that makes a lot of sense...but so does wishing they wait until they are at least heading off to college! ;-)


Anonymous said...

I remember Ben asking "where did I come from?" when he was about 5. My answer at the time: "Englewood Hospital." That satisfied him for a good year and a half.

Now that he's headed to college next year (OMG!!), the discussions are a bit more detailed, more along the lines of what your old boyfriend's mom did - and now with the offer that I'll take them to planned parenthood if they need someone to take them. I'd rather do that then attend a birth!!

DoulaMomma said...

agreed - I would love to be invited to attend the birth of a grandchild, but not for a LONG time!